''MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:

Obviously, I'm not a relationship expert. But there's something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different... After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here's the advice I wish I would have had...

1) Never stop courting.
Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART.
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again.
You will constantly change. You're not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don't take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her.
Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can't help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER...
Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it's what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions:
It's not your wife's job to make you happy, and she CAN'T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them... when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8) Allow your woman to JUST BE.
When she's sad or upset, it's not your job to fix it, it's your job to HOLD HER and let her know it's ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she's important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you... DON'T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE'S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren't going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY...
Don't take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY...
Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT.
Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY...
To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON'T BE AN IDIOT...
And don't be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You're not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE...
The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing... (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE...
You don't have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT.
If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING... Especially those things you don't want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don't know i she will like what she finds... Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK... If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER...
The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON'T WORRY ABOUT MONEY.
Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don't let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE.
In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn't about Happily ever after. It's about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him 'I do', and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn't what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can't help but brag about.''

What about picture that describe all???

I got my new camera canon 600D last month, thanks to my brother buy it for me...hehehhe
i will used it and take care of it like my own life...

Everyone love taking snap view and saving an memories in each place that they visits.
But what the point by doing that??? some how, i love see things that small and beyond imagination i don't like my picture been snap, but i love taking others picture, such as face of happy, smile, grin and among all i love taking picture of flower........oh god...it so beautiful :)

here some of the picture that i take....

hehehe...

i'm just congrate my friendssssss well getting married..and having a baby soon!!!! gees i'm the one that too excited more then them...

ehh next week school holiday rite?...so wow that the day me....will be having fun with my friends and anak2.....saudara tau! hahaha

hurm.....what should i write yeah? i don't wxcatly know...hehehhe just wanna make a new entry without any idae...hehehe maybe the writer also got same problem rite...sometimes they take a years...to finish one novel....hehehhehe...compare to me...just small fish at the hugeeeeeeee ocean..

erm...actually i got plenty writing...but...it left at my lappy...me at cyber cafe...and dumb me i forgot to bring it also...huhuhu unlucky me rite...
heyy..hey...u guys wanna noe...?? me without blog and facebook like walking human...opss zombie....don't have any direction and blur most of the time...

i miss my blog....sooo much....heheheh insyaAllah i'll will active after this...hehehehhehe many stories i wanna share with you all...guess what? its quite surprisingly...

to be continue......xoxox

 

I am not right person that suitable to write this feeling but, I just wondering and curiosity makes our mind assumed and fill the empty room in our mind works and think. So many questions in my minds that I can’t understand and keep bothering me and makes me sometimes do actions that makes me regret after that.

Love is universal, but do they choose to be one? We always prefer positive thinking when involve this matter. Do we? What actually love’s mean? For this year I used to hear love is when two people look each other and then fall in love or meeting person that making yours heart pumping faster or she/he cute or common reason its fate.

As we know, too many poem or wording those prefer to love. Because it’s a normal and wonderful but how about the words’ that prefer to broken heart do they admire that words or did we can accessible easily? Appear that NOT right, we just concentrate to people or words that making we happy to hear and see that life. But it’s true that we sometimes can’t accept the truth when heading to our self.

When exactly we really knew we fall in love? Or someone truly loves us? We can’t figure it out until we face it. But do they last long?? I been seeing my close friends couple near 9 or 6 years, but in the end its stop with “breakup” it’s cruel but that happen and some of them just meet several days but end with marriage and happily ever after. What actually wrong or missing in that particular situation? Isn’t the timing or isn’t the feeling gone? So do we have to choose our partner or partner chooses us?

In other situation, loves triangle, how did happen? Why it occur? Is it the third parties really wrong or right person to blame? Did we ever ask story from third parties? Maybe they also a victim or we the one is third parties? In some situation guys married to a women because of their parent like, or that guys married it’s was his last options or as a revenge to that women.

How loves begin?? Some how, love doesn’t last long. First meet, or in process of knowing each other, whole story we share became interesting and fun to hear. What did our partner said and told us was wonderful and fascinating. Based from the stories been told we fall in love and believe we know better our partner or do we care about their weakness?? I guess we DON’T, all the process and flow of falling in love seem wonderful but what happen when we catch them in truth lie??? How’s you’re feeling and can we handle with that situation?

Fall in love divided to three, where we fall in love because of Allah, Satan and jinn. Fall in love because of Allah, when we see each other and we decided to get married, we love each other because we believe he/she will be our soul mate till our last breath, that is called fate. Fall in love by Satan, which mean we love him or her because we want get something from him/her, or in other words revenge, or used him/her for fun, enjoyment and in end they had to get married because of the girl get pregnant. Mean while the genie is when you love her or him but it’s just in one sided loves. You decided used black magic to make the girl or boy fall for you and crazy in love with you, in end their get married.

Our religion doesn’t ask we to stop fall in love or it’s wrong to fall in loves and as we know all religion ask we love each others, Mother Nature, and so on. But the mistake that we do was, we take the loves word for granted, nowadays people easy to pronounce and say words of love to anyone they see or like. But do they really mean it?? It’s seemed became a trend to used that words to anyone and couple just a days or a month just like that.

I love you! Am I? That was good example right, we never knew when actually our fate or soul mate comes. Sometimes we assumed that he or she is our soul mate, but in the end it stops with single word “breakup”. It’s was a tragedy when that happen, we try to avoid that to happen but, it’s won’t work if just in one side struggle only.

One of my friend said to me, crazy in loves makes us do crazy things. Maybe half of that was true it’s depend to people that making and done such things. But sometimes, when people love us, we try to ignore that feeling, we never notice that person until the days we started to lose them each days, at that time it’s too late to apologize.   Even he/she forgives your mistake the feeling and how him or she treats towards us will change and it’s won’t be same.

Talk about forget, how longs we needs to forget someone was in our life?? A life times, a year, Months, or a day. We can’t forget our part of our life easily and that true, but did we notice our action makes our new life (partner) suffer and hurts. Because of your past treating you like garbage, then your ego and feeling towards your new girlfriends/boyfriend such a jerk and treating them like whole things that happen was her or him fault and you don’t even listening what actually he or she want to say or mean. And that makes misunderstood and awkward situation happen and becoming fight in the end.

Silent, untold and keeping inside and by our self makes things worst, where by it make big room for neglected and assumption towards your partner. Some people say “I make my own choice and what ever happen I do it based on my decision” but do they realize that by using “I” and not “we” are always making and create a big “NO” to relationships.

How and when we know that our decision making are truly correct and will end with happy ending? Actually we never knew until we face it. But it’s never wrong if we start to try taking a risk on our relationship, and try not looking back. What past is past, just make the past become our strength and base to standup further and became a risk taker along brave enough to start over or new chapters.

By that don’t rush on falling in love, and we know that love sometimes knock we down, but be careful with that situation don’t over react and making we regret later. Love is priceless, and can’t buy. Do they? On this material world guys and gal may had been bought by the money and material. Can they live happily ever after? And without material can they still in love forever? Different people had a different perception of loves. Two couple that crazy in love less think about the future, because they assumed this world belongs to them. But in the end it split up, issued by “money”.

I’m not saying that only material that can makes people happy till the end, in fact, the combination both of material and love create a prefect couple. Were by their not having problem to holiday, honeymoon, starting new family, buy a house, car or anything that both couple desire in their life. I’m saying like that because, the percentage of couple split and start to fight because of unable to satisfy their partner and children are high.

Virtually in love, I guess all of you guy knew what I’m trying to say here. Hey, so many social web nowadays, such as friendster, twitter, facebook, myspace and so on. It’s became trend to put our relationship either single, in relationship, in open relationship, or so on. Funny things about this matter is do they really mean it or just a prank or gimmick to makes their profile looks alive. There a case where some gal changes her status by in relationship to single just to makes his partner annoy and mad. Or in reality he/she actually married but put his/ her status as single to attracted more friends in his/her account, funny things to read and see.

The truth is gal and guys are same, both of them giving ranting and discuses about their partner to others “coffee table talked” or “pillow talked”. And sometimes they also talked about gal and guy that just came by or walk aside or they meet only for once. For example a guy rating gal by figure, looks and so on same goes to gal, hey nobody is perfect.

In relationship...but pretend to be single. People ask you either you have gf/bf you answer “no” the reality is you have. Why such things happen? Are he/she embarrassed to have you as his/ her partner? Or never have confident with you or maybe her/him just played you around. Which one is true? When we are honest, our partner never listens to you nor are he/ she really loving you. The question and doubt always pop up in our head until both of them face to face settle this matter, but the guys never want to settle it up. He just, watches her fall and saying he don’t want to think it much and so many things he want to think beside that matter. Easy for him to say jus leave me! Same goes to gal.

We sometimes said something’s that we never meant it. Gal say just leave me, but actually don’t leave me. How about guys? Do they have same method? Or they really mean it. Life have some mercy, one thing that still the same we still can fly and fly to standup again. So true that forgetting is freaking hard and the heart and soul still remind to her/him, we want to forget but it’s hard to remove from deep his or her heart. But we still had to forget the past, because soon or later the new partner will notice about it and indirectly will hurt his or her feeling.

Our decision never had been marked as wrong or right until we start to face it. When we live in the shadow of past it will make our life as black as it. Remove the question “do you still or ever think of me anymore” and stop hoping and wondering things that never is ours. When he/ she ignored you its mean it’s totally over. Saying I love you, it’s hard to come out from our mouth until it’s the right time, same with its never right time to say good bye. But we can figure it out by our self concuss and heart when our partner behavior change such as, less smsing, calling, say words I love u or miss u. so it time to buckle up gal/boy.

How can I forget you when you’re always on my mind? How can I not want you when you’re all I want inside? How can I let you go when I can't see us apart? How can I not love you when you control my heart? Nice wording right? Gees looks what actually its mean and who said it. It’s funny when that was our ex’s words. And why before these he/she never used those words? Then proven that the day we losses someone is the day we truly realize that we really love him/her.

What actually happen when you got a massage that telling that your bf was and never stop loving his ex gf?, humph that making we felt such a suck!  Feel like want to kill somebody right away, and feel like you are all alone and world crushing down and its over. But, for some reason we need to think positive and patient by god will, why that happen? Because we truly love him/her and ready to accept anything and by that we start to trust and pretend to be happy as long he/she happy that all matter.

Or, we should forget him/her immediately? Hahaha that what should it be? Hey! Come on cheer up no body were die, its just a message from unknown and gees just bear in mind you are still and can found better guy/gal out there!! If she/he doesn’t want you then just leave him/her. It’s not worthy to hoping and stay beside her/him for that long. If he/she wants to be free, just let him/her flies! If he/she determine to go don’t stand her/his way and it’s the way of life, what for you hold him/her if deep down you know its over.

Hey gal and boys! Don’t be sad and buckle up!!! Life is short and the reason we got dump or dumped someone it’s because our self. Stop wondering and keep asking your self about the matter that already happen. Even we said it louder and scream like no one in this world also can’t change this situation. Sometimes we wish that we got a time machine just like “back to the future movie” am I right? Come on guys and gal came back to earth then or just cracks the shutter.

We never want the bad ending, and we forget that being in love doesn’t mean we had a shield from getting hurts, which wrong we actually more delicate and easy to get hurts, so, can we get slumber on this matter or just ignore our feeling? We watch our admire get far from us, we watch him or her with others and how does it feel? Sometimes the words of wise said “love is when we willing letting go, and love doesn’t mean we can hold and have him or her by our self” it’s weird to say but it’s a relief when we felt like that.

In other case, love one sided! Damn that a big issued, but this matter always and become one major issued in this world. How we can tell this situation? First, when only you that saying love or misses to her or him but doesn’t have any feedback. Ouch! Second, when hugging, he or she don’t hug you back, reason because he or she not ready or in shocking mode bullshit! Hahaha it’s just an excuse to get away actually. Hey, we are beautiful and handsome! So it’s doesn’t mean we can’t have fun in life so try get flirty and glamorous because some one out there waiting for you.

When actually the right time to say goodbye?? It’s never had!! When that happen it’s gonna be raining day’s Emotional times. Nowadays the separation can be happen by sms, telephone, e-mail, songs, letter and son on. And only few people say it by face to face. Why those happen? Because they such a cowered or have to, or distant, or what actually? Maybe we never figure it out, it’s mean we need to prepare our self with that situation.

I can’t give any advise or way to fall in love or tackle someone because in terms of love, it’s need to be self conscious and let it be walk in or lets love decided what should or shouldn’t add with brain!

He just say…I don’t have that feeling anymore! Ouch. That hurts. Then their chapter is over.

To be continue~

When i was 12 years old i saw my dad....playing with leaf

then i ask him...why dad play with them and not burn them along?

my dad answer...even the leaf fall down from the tree, it doesn't mean it not useful or garbage...

but it still contribute it life with continuing process of photosynthesis...

at that time i never understand what my dad said...

now...it seem not living things are more and much useful to earth compare to us that keep destroying the earth...

actually what i'm trying to say here is why we just see the simple way of living?? and not trying to see beyond that? me also keep doing that mistake which relate to my decision and that make me regret later!!

I just simply simply...keep playing in my life...but in the same conner of my life i trying to be serious..hehehe

i frequently hurts my dearest feeling and doing that my heart hurt also..stupid right...

but i bet whole human being used to do so...

my life...my decision...sometimes makes me stronger....and sometimes what we want the most was not the best for us...

and the things that we hate the most not actually bad for us....this makes me wonder...why is that? but this what life was.....sometimes new life knock we down and its our decision either want or not to take the changes...in our life..or either we needs backup or not...

Color is all around us, for some reason some color represent our heart, life feeling and mostly emotion. How we know that? because we might choose and pick bright color for happy day or wen we feeling happy and while in moody days...

we frequently choose what to wear or what color it might be suitable.. and most of all we never think about it. Indirectly our life relate and link to color...JUST WATCH CAREFULLY AND YOU MIGHT FOUND YOUR TRUE COLOUR and that makes me start to blogging..~greenginger~

My life full with color...either it gloomy color nor joy color...but i bet most of us got similarity in this part of changes...

some changes might slightly change us to better or bad person...but

every changes got a reason and that reason we wont gonna find out until we start our journey beyond and along with the changes...and the mixer in the bad and joy changes makes our LIFE WONDERFUL and interesting 

Yummy!!!

that was the best words ever when seeing any food and

dishes in front of me!!!!

Yummy!!!

colorful food makes me want to try and even tasted it more often..

eat..eat..drink and drink...i'm become addicted to junk food... actually that makes me happy..

seeing the bright color of food and the smell and mostly the taste!!!

Yummy!!

See....so tempted right?? that makes me addicted to junk food....

my favorite one is...

JELLYBEAN!!!!!

OMG while seeing that candy on store i directly uncontrollable and buy it on the spot...hehehe

crazy me right!...!! don't blame me..blame the FOOD because it so cute!

i used to wear colorful shoes and cute flip flop....god, i'm love FLIP FLOP!!! people around me..really know that i LOVE to wear that comfy foot wear...hehehe

the day i buy my shoe my friend said it to me...gees gurl that was weird color choice...i'm just smile then continue straight to cashier counter...for me..."i don't care what people things of my color choice as long its makes me happy and feel CONFIDENT to walks...

hehehe look cute right!!! gees...someone gonna bite my shoes!!! hahahah...its look yummy!

I got a friend who totally freak out when seeing CUP CAKES!!! she die to buy each color and each design...well me and my bestie just got similar on color freak.

 But for sure she more more more freak with color..."sorry dear...but i don't even mention your name rite?? xoxo.."

its just like yesterday this things happen...me and two of my besties go out at xxx then when we reach there, their was a shop that all paint with pink color which my bestie favorite...then we enter there...it was a cup cake shop where by got plenty of design, color...taste and most of all...its COLORFUL like a rainbow!.

can you all Imagen that? until now i can feel my heart pumping faster because hearing my friend scream....funny but happy...she bought 3 boxes which quit expansive and....yummy!

beside malaysian food also got many many color right......

not FORGETTING ice cream also made with colorful and vary flavor to each other and mostly got  unique color....yummy!! i love desert!!....chocolate, yum, vanilla, mint, strawberry, grape, lime, orange, blackberry, many more...

When talked about color...it never ended.......