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Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Marriage Advice From Men Who Been Divorce.

''MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:

Obviously, I'm not a relationship expert. But there's something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different... After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here's the advice I wish I would have had...

1) Never stop courting.
Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART.
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again.
You will constantly change. You're not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don't take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her.
Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can't help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER...
Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it's what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions:
It's not your wife's job to make you happy, and she CAN'T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them... when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8) Allow your woman to JUST BE.
When she's sad or upset, it's not your job to fix it, it's your job to HOLD HER and let her know it's ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she's important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you... DON'T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE'S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren't going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY...
Don't take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY...
Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT.
Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY...
To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON'T BE AN IDIOT...
And don't be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You're not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE...
The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing... (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE...
You don't have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT.
If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING... Especially those things you don't want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don't know i she will like what she finds... Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK... If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER...
The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON'T WORRY ABOUT MONEY.
Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don't let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE.
In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn't about Happily ever after. It's about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him 'I do', and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn't what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can't help but brag about.''

Monday, March 31, 2014

Memerlukan dorpship/ peniaga FB..

Pencarian Peniaga FB / Dropship.

Berniaga menggunakan FB. Untong RM100-RM500 seminggu.

Syarat2 :

1. Boleh Online 2 jam Sehari
2. Boleh Ikut Nasihat dan Arahan Mentor/Dropshipper
3. Sanggup keluar Modal RM150 utk pengiklanan
4. Wajib ada laptop dan whatsapp

Jika anda bole ikut 3 syarat diatas, Jaminan 100% 'Pulangan Modal' Oleh Company AR ENTERPRISE sendiri.

Anda minat, Sila PM : https://www.facebook.com/messages/arrichmind.arenterprise utk sesi Interview.

TQ

Sunday, October 23, 2011

When Life Started To Rumble

Where should i started? I'm not a writer nor story teller..but here the things, it seem my whole life started with YOU. i'm not a social networking addicted before, but the day you add me, i started to be one. Truth is, i don't have any account on social networking, nor chat, but the day you add me i started to have all account, either yahoo messenger, MSN, skype, myspace emm....without i notice i become addicted to facebook and twitter. Actually i don't know where to start or end it, i don't know how to express everything, i can't write my feeling down because it seem i don't have any courage to do so. plus it's seem i lose hope already. I never get tired with whole things and rumble in our life. I never regret with anything, i never blaming nor force you. the day you told me its over between us, i just simply can't stop crying or should i say its hurt so much. I know i'm not perfect for you. Here the things, there is part of me really can't leave you, some part of me saying stop hoping and everything. What should i do? my heart and my mind got issued on that. My heart simply heal when ever see you smile. Funny aite? well that how i feel. easy satisfy as long you happy. your happiness far more enough for me. For you sake, for you smile i'll will move on as you wanted, even that truly hurts me deeply. the day i accepted you as part of me, i never think that we gonna be end. Because for me you my last, you my vain and my blood that keeping me alive, or should i say its more that everything. I know, i can't meet you and your families anymore, so sad because i fall in love with your families too. Hurm, forgive me, forgive me from deep of my heart. I know you wont reply any my sms, or anything i wrote to you, its okay.. i know i never deserve you. So sorry because i'm not gonna be your last, sorry i'm not gonna be your future wife even i really dream to... hmm don't get me wrong its not that i'm asking or begging you accept me again..i know you serious with your decision. Thanks for the things that you teach me, guide me, hear me, love me and be there when i need you. I know we can't be friend, but i wish you happy in the future. Thanks for the memories. xoxo

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Camera Passion :)

What about picture that describe all???

I got my new camera canon 600D last month, thanks to my brother buy it for me...hehehhe
i will used it and take care of it like my own life...

Everyone love taking snap view and saving an memories in each place that they visits.
But what the point by doing that??? some how, i love see things that small and beyond imagination i don't like my picture been snap, but i love taking others picture, such as face of happy, smile, grin and among all i love taking picture of flower........oh god...it so beautiful :)

here some of the picture that i take....



Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Perlu Perubahan??

Suatu ketika dahulu.....
Bila diri in kenal dengan kamu....
Kenangan itu masih kekal dalam ingatan...
bagai semalam...berlaku...
hendak di cari...hendak d capai...
namun...kau tetap pergi jauh...
terlihat gambar kamu....
membuat diri ini.....teringat kisah antara kau dan aku...bermula...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Siapa tu? tiap- tiap hari wall...
apa hubungan dorang ya siapa dia ya?"

'Tak sangka sarah bole pilih lelaki mcm tu jadi teman lelaki...
teman lelaki sarah tu nampak mcm samseng je...."

Nama aku sarah...nama dia...mr z kalau tengok dari segi apa pun, kami ni memang tak sepadan dan aku pun tak faham kenapa aku bersama dia...

Perasan sekarang dah tak sama macam dulu...aku dan dia selalu bertengkar...bukan sebab apa...aku semakin menyayangi dirinya...

Aku selalu menyuruh dia memilih perempuan lain untuk jadi pasangan...aku selalu menyatakan perbezaan antara kami semakin ketara...dan...aku selalu meminta hubungan ini di tamatkan....dalam seminggu sebanyak itu lah juga aku ucapkan perkataan itu...

Dia semakin bosan dengan ucapan aku..aku sedar....pada saat aku melafazkan perkataan itu....risiko untuk berbaik dan bersama semula menjadi tipis bila dia mengiyakan...namun, setiap kali kami bertengkar....kesemua kesalahan menjadikan aku lah puncanya....

Kami bukan macam dulu lagi...aku semakin mencintai dia....namun...setiap pertengkaran...setiap pergaduhan...aku yang mengalah...aku yang rasa bersalah...dan aku yang memujuk dia...walhal..siapa sepatutnya yang di pujuk?? semakin hari...semakin rumit hati ini....

Namun....sesakit mana hati ini....aku masih dan tetap memberi dia peluang...walau ke berapa kali....dengan harapan dia faham...apa isi hati aku...bukan bermaksud untuk mengubah dia...bukan bermaksud menyakiti dia....namun aku nak dia faham apa isi hati ini....

segala masalah...segala suka dan duka hidup aku...aku kongsikan bersama dia...namun apa yang buat aku terkilan adalah...dia yang menyepi...berdiam diri apabila dia di timpa masalah....siapa aku di mata dia?? aku hanya inginkan dia sentiasa jujur dengan aku...walau perit sekali pun hendak di luah kan....aku sedia mendengar....

Aku...bukan nakkan harta benda...aku bukan memilih rupa...namun hati yang baik menjadi pilihan hati...dia yang tersangat istimewa membuatkan....aku sentiasa bersyukur dapat kenal dengan dia....

dia selalu menyuruh aku berubah...berubah ke arah yang dia nakkan...aku tahu dan faham apa yang dia rasa..cuma susah untuk aku berubah. Aku risau dia tinggalkan aku...dan kerana itu aku selalu ucapkan perkataan itu...pengalaman dulu mengajar aku menjadi lebih tabah....dan setiap apa yang berlaku membuatkan hati aku semakin keras...

Dia terlalu baik buat aku...membuatkan aku merasakan diri ini dipermainkan...selama aku hidup..lelaki melayan aku seperti barang mainan...dengan sebab itu aku...nekad menjadi seperti sekarang...namun berjumpa dengan dia...membuatkan aku serba salah...adakah aku menjadi hipokrit dengan azam aku yang dulu...atau memang ini yang patut aku lakukan sekarang?

Patutkah aku teruskan tingkah laku aku yang dahulu atau membiarkan aku seperti sekarang....kadang kala perubahan ada baik dan buruk nya...namun diri ini terasa tertipu dan lemah bila di samping dia....aku berubah dan terus berubah yang tidak pernah aku impikan...

Hubungan aku dan dia terlalu banyak dugaan, dari mula sampai sekarang, kadang kala aku abaikan impian aku hanya untuk dekat dengan dia....namun adakah dia sedar...apa yang aku lakukan?? aku semakin penat dan menyerah kalah dengan semua usaha aku...aku bukannya meminta sebarang hadiah atau simpati dari dia...namun...aku hanya mahu dia...sedar...apa yang pernah aku katakn dan lakukan adalah untuk kebaikan dia....

So, adakah aku yang perlu perubahan atau dia??
apa pun berlaku, aku tidak pernah mahukan perpisahan...walau itu yang selalu aku ucapkan...

Thursday, March 10, 2011

BarakaAllah....

hehehe...

i'm just congrate my friendssssss well getting married..and having a baby soon!!!! gees i'm the one that too excited more then them...

ehh next week school holiday rite?...so wow that the day me....will be having fun with my friends and anak2.....saudara tau! hahaha

hurm.....what should i write yeah? i don't wxcatly know...hehehhe just wanna make a new entry without any idae...hehehe maybe the writer also got same problem rite...sometimes they take a years...to finish one novel....hehehhehe...compare to me...just small fish at the hugeeeeeeee ocean..

erm...actually i got plenty writing...but...it left at my lappy...me at cyber cafe...and dumb me i forgot to bring it also...huhuhu unlucky me rite...
heyy..hey...u guys wanna noe...?? me without blog and facebook like walking human...opss zombie....don't have any direction and blur most of the time...

i miss my blog....sooo much....heheheh insyaAllah i'll will active after this...hehehehhehe many stories i wanna share with you all...guess what? its quite surprisingly...

to be continue......xoxox

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Wow......

wow...such a long time i remember that i open my blog...
by the way its not that i'm not write or what...but something come up...that cant control...hehehehe stop of that let begin with the new tear...opsss long behind

its march already...what should i say here then??? erm..lets see...i'm job less right now...my applicant to continue my study not approve....and why is that??? hehehe not my luck then...but it doesn't mean i stop from trying rite?...

money concern makes me unable continue study to my dream place...huhuhu insyaAllah...i will go there..and achieve it! don't care when or where as long my dream come true!....




actually or perhaps what i should work first rite? huhuhu......geeessss but one things that i keep in my mind is...what ever that we believe and trying to achieve it with determine and bless...things will better next day..rite..

i dont have things to write...my mind is gone...my heart not in same path....still in blur motion...hahahha oh ya....all about my enteries before is all about the heart broken and sooo on rite???

guess what....he still with me!!! thanks god!! why i said like that because I'm not that type of girls that easy to move on and easy change boyfriend.... heheh this the seconds times me breakup with him...and hope it wont happen again...

I'll restore all my life with him....family...and Allah...actually what lifes journy without an bummpy road and long pain and happiness rite...not all that we plans can be fullfill directly...some people had different fate and luck...so for me...mine not yet be mine...

so...lets keep trying...when ever we fall, we must stand tall..or more taller then before...so....just knock me down..i will ensure...me simply taller then yours!!! amin...

see you all next entry okay...miss youuu all.....xoxo

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